Already all I need

I'm in Spain at the moment, on holiday with my parents as a chance to relax and spend a bit of time with them before I go to uni. it's lovely to actually see them, but also a HUGE challenge. This is the first time I've been away with my parents since before my eating disorder began...and I'm so unused to having my food so totally in their control...

There are also none of my safe foods or brands around; we're eating pretty much all of our meals out (only one meal in the past 3 days has been at home); I don't know any of the restaurants and all the menus are in Spanish so I never really know what I'm ordering anyway. It's quite scary - and I am struggling. I'll be honest and say it's very, very hard. My anxiety is high a lot of the time and I'm stretched to the limit on appearing okay with everything.

But...God is so present in this holiday. Every time I reach that point at which I honestly don't think I can cope, He blesses me. He brings me encouragement in different way...a cute facebook message from a friend; an unexpected half hour to myself to just chill and read; a breakfast cafe that does fruit and yoghurt! (okay, it was far from my 'safe yoghurt' - so thick I could barely spoon it out, but it was still a blessing and very yummy...)

I also just discovered and downloaded an amazing new worship album by Christy Nockels. And I'm currently on the terrace, listening to 'Already All I Need' on repeat and getting a bit teary eyed...because it's so true, and it's so appropriate.

Already All I Need
'Asking where You are, Lord. Wondering where You’ve been. Is like standing in a hurricane, trying to find the wind. And hoping for Your mercy to meet me where I am. Is forgetting that Your thoughts for me, outnumber the sand. You filled the sun with morning light. You bid the moon to lead the night. You clothe the lilies bright and beautiful. You’re already all I need. Already everything that I could hope for. You’re already all I need. You’ve already set me free. Already making me. More like You. You’re already all I need. Jesus, You’re already all I need. Walking through this life without Your freedom in my heart. Is like holding onto shackles that You have torn apart. So remind me of Your promises. And all that You have done. In this world I will have trouble. But You have overcome. And every gift that I receive. You determine just for me. But nothing I desire compares with You. In Your fullness. You’re my all in all. In Your healing. I’m forever made whole. In Your freedom. Your love overflows. And carries me. You carry me'

For the rest of this holiday, I will walk in the truth of this song. I'll cling to God in every moment of fear and panic and painful stretching of my abilities to overcome and cope, because He is already all I need.